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October 24, 2005

You gotta be fucking KIDDING me....

So I get home Friday night, open the door and think to myself: 'Hmmm I don't remember leaving the stereo cabinet doors open..... and I definately had more DVDs than that... what the... oh shit I've been robbed.

A-yup, some fucktard decided that what's mine was theirs and they were tired of my having it. Seems they remvoed a pane of glass from the side door, reached in and unlocked it letting themselves in. Course they were too stupid or hurried to wear gloves so the cops got 5 lovely prints off of the glass. Oh and those who were wondering, that black fingerprint powder that looks so cool on TV? Yeah it gets all over the fucking place. Whee.

Anyhow, I digress... so they let themselves in, decided to take over 220 DVDs, my Playstion games & memory cards, my Playstation 2, games, controllers and memory cards, my Gamecube, controllers, games, memory cards, some jewelry, some cash and my own duffle bag & suitcase to carry it off. And to think, I only worked hard and spent my own money on these things, so they could have them. Cocksuckers.

Got a new steel door put in, double keyed deadbolts, etc. etc. If they want in, they are always going to get in, I'm just pissed off at myself that I didn't make it harder sooner. Now its just dealing with the insurance company, shopping for replacement items, etc.

So... uh... yeah. Fun fun.

Posted by Michael at 8:46 PM

October 3, 2005

Chinaman

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't posted in a while. Bite me. :)

So Friday night I was feeling lazy. It had been a long day, hell a long week. So I decided to treat myself to some delivery chinese. On the surface this seemed to be a wonderous idea. How little I knew then.

So I call up and order some Sesame Chicken and Crab Rangoon. The time: 7:10pm. They tell me in broken English that it will be 55 minutes. WHAT? 55 Minutes? Ok, ok. I can wait. I'm hungry, but fine, sure, great, whatever.

So 8:20 rolls around..... I realize that I have no chinese food in my possesion. I begin to try calling to ask them if it is coming straight from China. The phone line alternates from busy to ringing endlessly for over 25 minutes. That's it. I'm going to go Communist on some chinaman here. Where the HELL is my food???

Now the is about 8:45 and I've given up on the 'delivery' part of this plan and I'm about to go drive over and see what is going on. Just as I am about to go out the door, my phone rings: "You order Chinese? How you get there?" So I give the directions to this guy three times (note there are only 2 turns involved in these directions. A wounded chimp on a unicycle could make it here from there). I am informed that they are "So sorry" and my food will be here in "Ten Minute".

So I wait. And I wait. Man, I am getting GOOD at this waiting shit. About 20 minutes later the doorbell rings. Its a Chinaman. With food. About fucking time. I relay my anger at having to pay full price for food that took 2 hours to get there. All I get in reply to anything I say is a smile and "Sorry sorry". I could have told him I was going to kick him in the beanbag and he probably would have just said "Sorry sorry". I was very tempted just to close the door and keep the food without paying, but I feared that this "Sorry sorry" Chinaman may have connections to evil ninja turtles. So I paid him.

Elated that I have my Chinese food at long last, I head into the kitchen to dish it out. I take out the Crab Rangoon. Fuck, its DELICIOUS. How can I stay mad when it's this good? I reach into the bag to get the Sesame Chicken out. Thats odd, my hands shouldn't be covered in sauce, yet they are. Aces, he manged to slop it all around in his mad rush to get here at a snail's pace. Well now I'm pissed again. Ok, so I dish it all out, wash my hands, start eating and I realize it's lukewarm. Fuckers. So I nuke it in the microwave and I eat. It was all delicious, I was full. Life was good, right? Well no, I'm still pissed that it took 2 hours and change to get there, I got slimed with sauce and it was lukewarm. What to do, what to do...... I KNOW! Call and compain!

So I call. I get to play that fun 'busy, busy, busy, ring endlessly' game some more. That's a fun game. Finally, some woman answers. After about 5 minutes of asking for the manager, etc. without her understanding me, I said the magic word : Complaint. Magically a man gets on the phone with pretty good English skills. Why THIS guy isn't answer the phone all the time is beyond me. So I tell him why I'm ticked, I shouldn't have paid full price, blah blah blah. He offers to send out new food. I explain, for what feels like the 73rd time, that I don't want or need MORE food, I just wanted something done about it. I'm thinking an offer of a refund, credit for food next time, something. I don't think I was out of line here on this one. Exasperated, I tell him "Never mind" and hang up.

Thinking that I was done for the night, I get into my robe, watching some TV, etc. I mean it's almost 10PM, what are the odds of anyone coming over at this hour? *DING DONG* Who the FUCK is at my door now? I open it. Its a Chinaman. With more food. Saying "Sorry, sorry".

Posted by Michael at 7:20 AM